Womble with a gun

Now I live in filth and squalor partly because my accomodation is small and I have no room for things and partly because of my almost pathological lazyness. However when I'm out and about on the street I will shove any detrious in my pocket including food wrappers and walk around with them until I see a bin in which to deposit them. Which is why everytime I see someone throw their rubbish away on the street it drives me mad. The thing that drives me absolutely John Rambo mental (in a First Blood kind of a way - not the later films) is when I see a parent walking along holding the hand of a child (better still if they're lecturing the child at the time) and chucking a wrapper into the gutter.

I feel like kidnapping their children and saying "Well if you can't teach your child basic manners then you don't deserve to have any". This of course would be ridiculous as the real reason they don't deserve to have children is that they are semi evolved simians who spend their evening throwing shit at each other and trying to work out the purpose of their opposable thumbs.

Sometimes I wish there was a provisional wing of the Wombles. Underground overground Wombling free in balaclavas and carrying armalite rifles. Everytime they spotted some gimboid chucking litter on the ground (particularly doing it right next to a bin) they would spring into action, a small smattering of gunfire and all that would be left is the tattered remains of a hoody and a bloodstained burberry cap. They would become counter culture heroes Wellington and Tomsk would replace Che Guevara on student tee-shirts and bedroom walls. The little red book of Uncle Bulgaria would be read through a haze of smoke in bedsits and squats accross the land. Student unions would be named after Bernard Cribbins. Sorry I got a bit carried away there but come on it really is a tad annoying.