Chibbing at Dawn

I was on a bus the other day...wait that's not the end of my story. So there I was on this bus when this little malodourous gimp turned to one of the other passengers and said. "what the fuck you starin at?" Of course there then followed a few moments of witty banter back and forth between the two of them with everyone else on the bus staring intently at their shoes so as not to become involved. Eventually the instigator got off the bus after first challenging the other guy to get off and "have a go". It was after this incident that I had a brainwave (which is like a mexican wave but with less chance of dropping your hotdog). Why don't we bring back duelling.

Instead of these spontanious acts of agression we could make it more organised. Your Ned would wake up the next morning and when he went looking for his fags he'd find a small card with the date and time he had to meet on the field of honour. I think we'd stick to the old traditional swords or pistols as the weapons as stanley knifes don't have the necessary style. Of course the option would always be open for a polite apology to the challenger and both could leave with honour intact. A trend could be started the glove industry could be given a boost by the amount of people buying them to strike someone across the face (do they do Burberry gloves?)

For those of you who think it would never work, for those of you who think you cannot bring back the manners of the eighteen century to the twenty first I say why not many of the people who start fights on buses have the same hygiene standards as the eighteenth century.